What happens on the bus…

20140123-223924.jpg Since we moved to Montreal, we’ve had to adjust to a few things. One of the big changes is that we no longer own cars, so we now use public transportation. This is quite an interesting (among other things) experience every day, or a social study I should say. In the bus, you find all kinds of people: nice, rude, short, tall, loud, quiet, happy, grouchy, coughing, sneezing, nose-picking… yes, all kinds of souls! I love to watch humans as they go and be a witness of life. BUT, I like to do that in silence. Yes, in silence, a concept that most adults in the bus seem to be familiar with.

Do you see where I’m going? No?

Well, should I mention I’m accompanied by my tagalong and not so silent partner in crime, my toddler, pretty much 100% of the time? When I step up on the bus with her, what should be a pretty uneventful 10-minute ride, could turn sour at any moment ;) You don’t believe me? I know what you’re thinking; ” it can’t be that bad!”

Well…

Episode 1: We just got in and it’s packed. She screams :”Mommy, there’s no place. Who are these people? Ugh”

Episode 2: Still out loud, very loud actually. “Mommy, it smells in here!!”. Me, whispering in her ear; “I know, just be patient, we’re almost home,” Her, 30 seconds later: “It still smells!”. I could see the people staring at us, laughing in their scarves, thinking they couldn’t have said it better. I really don’t appreciate having all eyes on me: too late, they are all staring at us!

Episode 3: While sitting next to (very very close to) a young woman carrying her baby on her chest, we were passing time, checking every detail and color on my child’s backpack. Her: This is pink, pink is my favorite. That’s blue, and that’s yellow. Oh and this is black, ohhhh I don’t like black, it’s scary. Mommy, BLACK IS SCARY!” Yes, still shouting in the bus. Nothing too bad there, right? Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot to mention…the lady very very close to us was indeed black. I was so embarrassed, I avoided eye contact with her. I just didn’t know what to say because, obviously, this does not reflect our family beliefs by far. Lonely moment. Enough said.

Episode 4: She was in a great mood that day. She decided to sing “Petit Papa Noel” the entire ride (about 10 times), very loud of course. The bus was quiet. Every single body noticed (heard) and while some were watching with a smile, thinking she was adorable, some others were annoyed. Why, who wouldn’t like hearing (more like being forced to)  “Petit Papa Noel” ten times in a row?

Episode 5: She was eating pretzels and felt like people needed to know about the way the digestive system works. So be it! Let me remind you that all conversations we have in the bus don’t remain confidential as it is loud and my child doesn’t seem to be capable to lower her voice in public places. “Mommy, first, pretzels go in my mouth, in my tummy aaaaaaand…in my booty and in my poop!!!” She smiled, so proud of herself! Me, blushing a bit as I realized witnesses were anxiously waiting to hear what “mommy” had to say about that one: “Haha, yep, you got that right, fantastic, more pretzels babe, PLEASE?!”

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Episode 6: Another busy day at a very busy hour. We were all cramped in that bus. We were both sitting down and a lady ended up standing in front of us the entire ride. As The Toddlerator started staring at the lady who was sporting a very bright shade of red hairdo, I was secretly hoping our stop was next. But before I knew it, she asked: “Why do you have THAT color in your hair?” with a clear disgust! Out, out, we’re going out!!

Episode 7: As we were about to get off the bus, a man stood next to my kid and made small talk with her. He was a really sweet older guy who happened to be a dwarf. She’d never seen somebody that small so she kinda stared with a little smile, thinking he looked a bit different but didn’t think anything more of it. We later had a talk about people and their differences and I explained he happened to be short as others can be really really tall. Human beings come in very different shapes. Anyway…

The next day… Episode 8:  We were sitting, still  in the bus 97, and my child screams with excitement as she point at somebody who just stepped in: “Mommyyyyyyy, look, it’s the very short man from yesterday!!” Poor short grandma…Way to bring somebody down for the whole day. 1-you’re really short and 2-you look like a man! I could not help but laugh hysterically, I just couldn’t. I later told Miss Sunshine this was a lady but she wouldn’t have it!

I told you! Funny, right? All kinds of funny and embarrassing things happen in public transportation! It’s kind of like our version of Vegas and, really, what happens on the bus, should stay on the bus! I complain about it but in the end, it is very funny and I just love how spontaneous and innocent children are!

But,  I wonder if I should buy a car! :0)

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